So, the atmosphere here in Houston is once again cloudy with the rankest of Man-Hate. This is no unusual occurence, and this time it was inspired by the recent travesties taking place on the season finale of The Bachelor. In case you haven't seen it, then what happened was this. The eligible man in question ended his run on the show by chosing not one, not two, but NONE of the ladies that he had so carefully whittled his choices down to. Emotions ran thick and fast on the after-show interviews as the pretty much entirely female audience looked ready to eat him alive. If they'd have had some kind of power failure and the cameras had just turned off for a second I'm sure they would have been after him like lions on Christians.
In our humble abode, the atmosphere was similarly chilly. My mom has asked all of us approximately 15 million and four times, "Why couldn't he have just continued dating one of the girls? There's no rule that he has to propose!" Then, there was the tragical attempts that the poor man was making to smooth things over, which pretty much just came out sounding like he was trying to be glib. My aunt, who is here visiting us and likewise witnessed the crash-and-burn, cautioned my sister and me, "Isn't that just like a man? They say these sweet things and they make you fall in love with them, but they're all LIES!!!"
I think the most amusing part to me is that the commercial that played immediately after the chat time for the bachelor and his rejected ladies was over, was the beautiful one for somebody like Kay Jeweler's where a couple is driving home at night, through the snow, and they're holding hands as they drive along, and the man slips a diamond necklace into the woman's hand. Isn't it beyoootiful?
Oh, wait, LIES, it's all LIES, everything that a man does that's sweet, ever, is all LIES.
[Let me just note right now that I am speaking about men in general and as they are stereotyped, not about any particular men. Actually, I have to recognize that I definitely know some guys who are really great, and really impress me. But, at the same time, it also seems like for every awesome guy I know, I know five who are incredibly immature or just downright jerks. Also, while we're in parenthesis, let me just say that I think the whole Bachelor thing was totally and completely unfair. To me, what doesn't make sense is how anyone could possible end up with any kind of lasting commitment from that show. I mean think about the whole premise and the way that show is run, go, right now, do it. Now just try and explain to me how a normal relationship, let alone a good marital relationship, could be formed in that kind of environment. Why can't all you vipers just leave the poor guy alone! Okay, I'm moving on.]
The thing is, isn't it true? How many girls and women do I know who have had their hearts broken by liars? How many divorcees do I know who have been left bitter, broke, and bereft? Do I know of any really beautiful and romantic things that any guys have done, outside of a commercial or movie? Let alone romantic, how about any kind things that a guy has done for some girl that he didn't just want to end up in bed with?
Oh, I know, I'm being totally unfair, blah blah blah. Here's another case. I started watching Everybody Loves Raymond while I was in Nigeria because, well, it was there. But, honestly, I cringe sometimes when I watch that show, and other sitcoms as well. Is every romantic thing a man does for his wife out of a sense of obligation and, dare I say it, fear of something or other? Does life for all men really revolve around sports and the Victoria's Secret catalog? Can they really not make it through life without some kind of act of infidelity? Are they so utterly emotionally stunted and mindlessly shallow as they are portrayed to be? Sometimes it just makes me sick to think about everything that I have been told, and not just for my sake, but for the guys who are also being fed this garbage and told, "This is your expectation. Now live down to it."
Unfortunately, Christianity has not done much to help me with this complex. Thanks to Focus on the Family and those of their ilk, and the ubiquitous Prov. 31, it seems like the Great American Christian man is only looking for a workhorse, someone to support their ministry, raise their kids, and all the while remain thin and beautiful and chaste, but also sexy. A woman who only exists to add value to the life of her man. Yeah, that's every woman's dream. A life long balancing act lived for someone else. O yes, sign us all up for that one.
Sigh. Maybe I need to check myself into some kind of clinic. I don't want to think this way. I feel like the atmosphere around me is always toxic, full of angry women and silly sitcoms that are trying to make me believe something that I really, really don't want to believe. I'm sorry, guys. I'm pulling for you, I really am. What can I do to change my mind? I wish I knew. If I knew what to do, I would do it. At least I hope I would. I want to be fair and balanced and positive and open-minded. No, I want more than that, I want to be able to respect you as a group. I want the sterotypes proved wrong so many times that they can no longer exist. I want to expect good things from you instead of bad. I want to be amazed. I think, maybe, we all do. And the more we complain, the more we long to be proved wrong.
So go ahead. Be awesome. I dare you.
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