Trying to Catch Up

Wow. I need to catch y'all up on recent happenings. I can't believe that it's been a whole month since my last post. There's a whole bunch of people that I want to invite to come check this blog out, but I feel hesitant because I can't seem to consistently post good material, in spite of the fact that this is pretty much my only good outlet for intellectual/spiritual/meditative outlet. Hmmm...oh well. Newsy update is clearly the order of the day.

So, since Thanksgiving, I had a great visit up to the Houghton/Buffalo area to see a whole slew of friends, which was superlative. Then I returned to glorious Houston, after some air travel gymnastics, and started my awesome, awesome job. Currently I am working at a bakery/coffee shop/cafe which is less than fantastic. Basically, I was hired to be trained as a barista, and there has been absolutely no such training taking place. Pretty much I fold boxes, move muffins around from one place to another, and grill sandwiches for six hours a day. Believe it or not, it's not really a picnic. Nor is it really where I pictured myself at this point in my life. I feel like I never have any time to do what I want and I’m generally exhausted. Too exhausted for much deep thought or life revision. Which is regrettable because I feel like that’s what I most deeply need right now. It’s too bad because in many ways I don’t want to engage in any kind of introspection, it’s so much easier to just live on the surface. I was recently talking to a friend who was saying that she struggled with not doing anything terribly significant like working or earning money or anything for a couple of months and feeling guilty until she realized that that’s exactly what she needed. I wish that I was brave enough to do something like that. I think I’m too afraid to not be working anymore, now that I don’t have something super significant like a big missions trip to look forward to. I feel like I want to consider and restructure my entire spiritual life, but I don’t even have time to think, most days. I don’t think I can handle this whole adult thing. There’s a woman that I work with who has four kids and at dinner the other night my mom was saying, “I don’t know how she could do that with four kids, what a day that would be!” And I was like, “Yeah, she would have to put in a shift at work, six hours on your feet, go and pick up the kids, go home and make dinner…oh wait, that’s what I do.” Which is true, that’s pretty much my day. Sometimes I shower. It’s awesome. I feel like what I want right now most of all is guidance. Should I quit this job and find somewhere else to work? If so, where? Maybe I should just quit everything for a while and try to pull my life together. Should I be working in this state or one of like three others where I’d rather be? Should I get teacher certified or try to find something really awesome to do to give me money for seminary? How in God’s name can I feel like I’m getting enough sleep?

On the other hand, baking. Lots and lots of baking going on here in the privacy of my own home. Pretty much I have been cooking amazing meals lately because grocery shopping and cooking has been taking up the bulk of my outside of work time. Therefore, shells stuffed with pancetta, spinach and ricotta in asiago cream sauce. Turkey pot pie with cheddar biscuit crust. Kofta kebabs with tzatziki. Superlative. Kind of makes all you folks wish you could drop by for dinner, doesn’t it? You should. There’s always an extra place at my table for a friend.