A funny thing happened to me today. Well, first of all I went to the arts festival with my wee sister, and we looked at carved things and glass things and painted things and weird things and more cheesy "charming-flower-strewn-corners-somewhere-in-France" photographs than I hope to ever see again. But that part of the day was quite lovely. And then, the funny thing happened.
My mom apparently went to the house of one of her church friends and was admiring her collection of "latte mugs" which are apparently those large, shallow mugs that I would use as a cereal bowl, but some civilized people apparently use exclusively for latte drinking. Anyway, she admired them so much that this friend went out and bought her a set of the mugs. I was helping her unwrap them today and noticed that in this case a "set" meant five, which is really an ususual number for any kind of serving dishes, which just about always come in round numbers. And I asked my mom why five, and she said, offhandedly, that her friend had figured that when Heather and I got married, and there would be one for each of us. Yes, that's right, one for me and my hub, Heather and her hub, and my mom. All happily sipping lattes together.
It may be important to note that I don't think the generous friend is question has ever even met me. But, as I reflected on this purchase, it really tickled my funny bone. Someone has actually purchased something for my future husband, and has in fact entrusted it to my care the way you hand something to a friend who's going to run into a mutual friend at Starbucks later. And drink lattes. From very large mugs. No one has ever gone so far in assuming that I am going to get married as to actually buy something for the lucky man.
So, as far as a dowry goes, that's it, to the best of my knowledge, that's the total package. I just want all the single men out there to know that, if you should be so fortunate as to win my hand in marriage, you get not only this choicest of wifeys, but also, a very large mug out of which lattes can be drunk.
So, that settles it. I have wavered back and forth on this marriage question for many a year, but now that the latte mug has come into the picture, there can no longer be any question of what I will do. I obviously must get married. A mug so singular as this one can only be used as was specified by my generous benefactor. And believe me friends, it is singular. Four years of studying writing at the college level and words fail me. I have decided to post a picture at the first available opportunity because this latte mug is too precious to sully with my weak words. So I will leave you to dream longingly and covetously of my glorious latte mug until then.
Sweet Dreams,
S.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
You've Come a Long Way, Baby
Sometimes I have this funny little lapse of judgement in which I think that everyone knows exactly as much about what's going on in my life as I do, despite geographical distance, and my failure to actually indicate to anyone what is going on. But, most of you are not telepathic, so I will have to fill you in the old-fashioned way.
So.
I must inform you that I have joined the French Foreign Legion, which is what all us love-lorn, waifish folk who have come to the end of their ropes do. Soon I will set out for the baking sands of farthest Arabia, crossing them with a slow camel and a heavy heart, to help my comrades hold down the fort against invading Moors.
No, that's not actually true. But seriously, would you be surprised at this point if that's where I was? I swear, for the last year, not even I can tell where I will turn up next. An Arabian desert is merely a drop in the bucket to a tumbling tumbleweed like myself. BUT, if you had known anything about the Legion, you would have known that the chauvinist bastards don't accept women, and so would have quickly seen through my ruse. In actuality, I am back at the old homestead in Houston, living my quiet civilian life and trying to understand this complicated little monkey I call my life.
I have been trying most recently to untangle all that has happened in my past two months at L'Abri. Mostably, I don't know. Which makes the perennial question of "So, did you get what you needed out of your time?" question really obnoxious. The time seemed to pass by in a whisper and a nod, and mostly I feel that I progressed greatly in places that I didn't really anticipate progress, and seemed to have changed very little in the ways in which I wanted to change. The greatest annoucement, the most earthshaking change that took me two months to arrive at is that I am going to move away from Houston. Yes, believe it or not, it took me a full two months to arrive at a decision that just about anyone who had a 15 minute conversation with me could probably have advised. In fact, it seems so obvious to me now that it is unbelievable that it took so much time to arrive at it. But really, I guess if that's what it took to get me there, that's what I needed.
I think another thing that was kind of an unexpected theme was my learning to try new things. Another issue that seems pretty darn simple, but it has always been a struggle for me. Being afraid that I'll do badly has actually kept me from doing lots of things that I've wanted to try. But I have had to put myself out there so many times in the past couple months, I feel like I've had no choice but to accept the possibility that I'll do badly or look foolish when I first try something, but that's part and parcel of learning something and all that anyone can expect.
On the other hand, I don't for the life of me know where I stand on this whole God issue. Seriously, clueless. Don't even ask me, I'll just get mad and spit in your eye. In your eye! All I know is that I'm still very much in the God camp, with the strangest, most dubious relationship that anybody in the God camp has ever had, ever. I suppose I more or less have all of my intellectual ducks in a row (yes, they're intellectual, and they're ducks. They have PhD's.) but, at the end of the day, what does that mean? What good is it if you have intellectual peace and no emotional change?
But as for now, it's a blustery afternoon in Houston and I'm once again scrambling around for a job, any job please, without a lot of optimism. Houston looks like a good place to find a job, seeing as how every freaking store has a Now Hiring sign. Don't be fooled. None of those places actually want to hire anyone. It's an elaborate trick, or at least that's been my experience. Besides, who would want to live in Houston? Houston is a hole.
So I'm just going to listen to Queen and eat quiche. It's a q day.
S.
So.
I must inform you that I have joined the French Foreign Legion, which is what all us love-lorn, waifish folk who have come to the end of their ropes do. Soon I will set out for the baking sands of farthest Arabia, crossing them with a slow camel and a heavy heart, to help my comrades hold down the fort against invading Moors.
No, that's not actually true. But seriously, would you be surprised at this point if that's where I was? I swear, for the last year, not even I can tell where I will turn up next. An Arabian desert is merely a drop in the bucket to a tumbling tumbleweed like myself. BUT, if you had known anything about the Legion, you would have known that the chauvinist bastards don't accept women, and so would have quickly seen through my ruse. In actuality, I am back at the old homestead in Houston, living my quiet civilian life and trying to understand this complicated little monkey I call my life.
I have been trying most recently to untangle all that has happened in my past two months at L'Abri. Mostably, I don't know. Which makes the perennial question of "So, did you get what you needed out of your time?" question really obnoxious. The time seemed to pass by in a whisper and a nod, and mostly I feel that I progressed greatly in places that I didn't really anticipate progress, and seemed to have changed very little in the ways in which I wanted to change. The greatest annoucement, the most earthshaking change that took me two months to arrive at is that I am going to move away from Houston. Yes, believe it or not, it took me a full two months to arrive at a decision that just about anyone who had a 15 minute conversation with me could probably have advised. In fact, it seems so obvious to me now that it is unbelievable that it took so much time to arrive at it. But really, I guess if that's what it took to get me there, that's what I needed.
I think another thing that was kind of an unexpected theme was my learning to try new things. Another issue that seems pretty darn simple, but it has always been a struggle for me. Being afraid that I'll do badly has actually kept me from doing lots of things that I've wanted to try. But I have had to put myself out there so many times in the past couple months, I feel like I've had no choice but to accept the possibility that I'll do badly or look foolish when I first try something, but that's part and parcel of learning something and all that anyone can expect.
On the other hand, I don't for the life of me know where I stand on this whole God issue. Seriously, clueless. Don't even ask me, I'll just get mad and spit in your eye. In your eye! All I know is that I'm still very much in the God camp, with the strangest, most dubious relationship that anybody in the God camp has ever had, ever. I suppose I more or less have all of my intellectual ducks in a row (yes, they're intellectual, and they're ducks. They have PhD's.) but, at the end of the day, what does that mean? What good is it if you have intellectual peace and no emotional change?
But as for now, it's a blustery afternoon in Houston and I'm once again scrambling around for a job, any job please, without a lot of optimism. Houston looks like a good place to find a job, seeing as how every freaking store has a Now Hiring sign. Don't be fooled. None of those places actually want to hire anyone. It's an elaborate trick, or at least that's been my experience. Besides, who would want to live in Houston? Houston is a hole.
So I'm just going to listen to Queen and eat quiche. It's a q day.
S.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Hello, Moon
Say what you want, I don't care how hokey or Disney-fied I sound. I take great comfort tonight from the fact that all of us are able to look up at the same moon. All of my families, in Kansas City, Houston, Buffalo, Houghton, Massachussates, Nigeria, Australia. To everywhere that has been my home, I wish you a clear sky. Go out to your porches, the woods, the city, search for her watchful eyes above you. Say hello for me.
Friday, March 7, 2008
I Want to Give You Something Beautiful
This is not profound. This is more me checking in, popping my head out the door and saying, "Hello, outside world. Long time no see." Amazing what can happen to you when you step out of the world for a while. For example, I was at Target over this past weekend and I nearly died because there were so many different kinds of underwear. Seriously, there were like 12 different kinds. Just women's. How do we handle that on a day to day basis?
This time has been good. I have been more artistic in the last couple weeks than I have been for months. I think of poetry, though most of it I still don't write it down. I hosted a talent show. I performed a hip-hop dance. I learned to split wood. I have new friends. I have had hard discussions, with myself, with God, and with other people. I have discovered the Book of Common Prayer all over again. I let the baby grab my finger tightly. I drank a lot of tea. I commit again to Beauty.
Next time I will have more to say. For now I just wanted to say hello...
Hello.
This time has been good. I have been more artistic in the last couple weeks than I have been for months. I think of poetry, though most of it I still don't write it down. I hosted a talent show. I performed a hip-hop dance. I learned to split wood. I have new friends. I have had hard discussions, with myself, with God, and with other people. I have discovered the Book of Common Prayer all over again. I let the baby grab my finger tightly. I drank a lot of tea. I commit again to Beauty.
Next time I will have more to say. For now I just wanted to say hello...
Hello.
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