Day to Day

Well. So, that happened. Looks like it's basically been two months since I posted. Sorry about that. I've been, well, that thing that everybody is when they start neglecting their blogs for other stuff (busy, I mean busy). What's the news. Well, I was on a hefty two week long vacation for a while, hitting Mont Tremblant, Montreal, Buffalo and Pittsburgh with the fam (and the extended fam, an unusual addition to our adventures). Then no sooner did that end than I whisked away for a long weekend in Boston to visit friend-types, then back to Buffalo for a crash course in grant-writing, which will hopefully prove useful in the very near future, and some time with with WNY Young Writers' Studio, which is already proving very useful and was awesome, and I would love to elaborate, but I just don't have the time! And, that was pretty much the month of August. I would love to tell you what the heck happened in the month of July, but honestly, it's hard to remember. It was a long time ago. I think I did a lot of traveling. Let's go with that.

Other than that, well, I feel like I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I think it has a lot to do with all the crazy changes that are happening around here. Two of my good friends have moved away, as I previously mentioned, and I think I definitely feel the loss. I'm looking at the end of my current job, which despite some occasional complaints, I have loved, and looking around for something new, which may or may not be as fun or fulfilling or may not materialize at all. Let's face it, in this economy, a job should never be assumed. I'm starting another year of dance classes, even more intensely (ballet and modern! have I lost my mind?) without having any clear idea of why I'm doing this, or where it's going. Then there's the inevitable slide of summer into fall, which I can feel happening around me, and I'm not ready. I'm just not. Summer went so quickly, and sad as it is, I feel like there were many ways in which I was too busy to enjoy it.

So, this may seem like a non-sequitur, but it makes perfect sense to me: I want to do a better job of writing down my life. I feel like attentiveness is key to appreciation and appreciation is key to happiness. I would like to do a better job of appreciating what is going on around me in the day to day, and appreciate my unique voice and perspective. That's all I'm going to say right now. Let's see how this unfolds.

Here is today: my first dance class of the semester, sweat and a sore back and that old familiar feeling of being completed overwhelmed and completely determined at the same time. Also, helping a friend move, geographically, closer. I'll bring my peach pie and i-Home to enjoy while we unpack.

Catching Up is Hard to Do...

OMG. Okay, I'm all about the blogging without obligation thing, to a certain point, but I don't think that point extends to over a month of non-posting. Does it help if I say I've been busy? May was mostly devoted to a benefit I helped plan ("The Art of Womanhood" to benefit The Priscilla Project, a really wonderful charity that helps pregnant refugee women) and then after that, a really big tango weekend towards the end of the month. The weekend included, in addition to the usual milongas and workshops, a performance that was at the theatre that I work at, so I was doubly involved in that, and ended up helping out with the show in a very hands on way. As in, climbing up and down into the sound booth (which is, in fact, just on scaffolding up behind the seats, so when I say climb, I really do mean climb) and running the follow-spot, which clanged down into a lower setting in its stand during the show, making a big noise and scaring the crap out of me. That was an epic evening to be sure. And then, gone for two weeks in Houston for the high-school graduation of the little sis, and you heard me right, that was two weeks, two full weeks of absence and a very, very busy time that was as well.

And now back in Buffalo, trying to catch up on...everything. Work, life, friends, cleaning, the whole nine yards. No rest for the weary. So, for the past month, I guess that has meant that my poor little blog has been left in the dust. But, never fear, intrepid readers. I hope to post sufficiently in the next few months, despite the incredible obstacles standing in my path. But I am planning some interesting stuff. Now that the guitar challenge is officially over (with mixed results) I am planning to do the same thing with a 30 day writing challenge, and the blog should hopefully reap some of the fruits of that labor. There is also a little side project I am working on this summer which could yield some very interesting posts indeed...

But, holy cow! It's basically summer! It's all happening so quickly! But this is so completely my favorite time in Buffalo (except for maybe spring or fall) and I am so glad it has arrived. I have been pulling out all my cute summer clothes, buying a pitcher for the gallons of iced tea I hope to have always on hand, planning strawberry shortcakes aplenty, eyeing the backyard for the next phase of renovation, enjoying my first street fair of the year and generally feeling awhirl with the change of seasons. I have a feeling it's going to be really, really good. Hang in there, my faithful intrepids. There's good stuff to come.

Discipline (or lack thereof)

I took this picture. I have no idea where or what it is...

Can we just talk about something for a sec? Somewhere along the line, I created this impression of myself as a disciplined person. Actually, I think I've thought of myself this way for quite some time. I always turned in my homework on time. The assigned readings got completed. I usually managed to keep my living space from falling into a state of total disarray. Also, my dancing. I used to go twice a week for at least an hour to the parish hall of Westminster Presbyterian. Then I started taking a very intense dance class and would go every week. The thing is, I go every week. Rain or shine or snow or hail or sleepiness or Friday afternoon torpor not withstanding. I simply allow myself no other option. The one exception is if I'm feeling really sick. But otherwise, when I'm sitting in the big comfy red chair and feeling like I'd rather just take a nap, I say to myself, "Shannon, what day is it?"
"Friday."
"And where should you be?"
"Dancing. But I don't wanna!"
"Are you sick?"
"No."
"Is your leg broken?"
"No."
"Then get up and go!"
And that's all there is to it. There is only one option. I have come to see all that as incidental. It's one thing to be very disciplined about one big commitment every week. It's quite another thing to be disciplined about something that ought to be happening every day. I am speaking specifically of writing and this whole guitar enterprise. These are things that I should be committed to doing in at least 15 minute increments every single day. Who can't find 15 minutes in a day, even a busy day? The problem is partially that I sometimes save these things till the evenings, which are in many ways the busiest times of the day for me. But I work from home, for crying out loud! Can I not fit in 15 minutes of guitar practice on my lunch hour? I absolutely could, but I wait till the end of the day, till I'm tired and feeling like Oh, I worked so hard today, I shouldn't have to do something else I don't want to do. Then I spend the evening watching episodes of 30 Rock on Netflix. A wonderful show, but I could take 15 minutes out of the evening for the guitar without causing undue stress. That's the thing that gets me. My reasons for NOT doing it are so stupid. Grrr...

So I've decided to go with the 30 day challenge method. You know how they say it takes 30 days to form a habit. Well, I'm going to try to commit to 30 days of practicing the guitar for 15 minutes every day. I know, the writing needs work too, but I feel like trying to take on both at the same time is overly ambitious, so here we are. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm saying that I'm starting today, because I've already practiced, so that's one down, 29 to go...

S.