Things forgotten, things remembered

Merciful heavens! Sometimes things just slip away from me to the extent that a whole month can pass (gasp! The first of October! It's actually been more than a month!) in which I post nothing on the ol' blog. For shame. Shame, shame, shame! I have no way to atone for this, so therefore, I will simply press on.

The first update I bring to the table today is that I missed Rosh Hashannah. Completely and utterly missed it. Did I not mark it's appearance on my office calendar with joy, considering that's the only way I knew when it was coming? Did I not practically count down the days until it was going to be here? I even thought of it on Monday morning and said to myself, starting this evening, it will be Rosh Hashannah. And then from sundown on Monday to sundown on Tuesday, thought of it not at all. Lamentable day!

Here is the backstory. I have been interested for the past six months or so in starting some casual observance of Jewish holidays. It makes sense to me because I clearly need some better way of connecting with the bible besides reading it, which basically never happens. And it makes sense to me that in the same way that the church calendar guides us into the life of Christ through marking time, so the Jewish calendar guides us into the story of God and God's people Israel by intentionally drawing our minds to the contemplation of certain parts of the story.

So, as far as I understand it, Rosh Hashannah is the new year of the Jewish calendar, the birthday of the world. On Rosh Hashannah you are supposed to hear the blowing of the shofar, which, I am told, symbolizes the breaking open and building up that is supposed to happen to a repentant person. Because, I think it's ten days after Rosh Hashannah, one is supposed to observe Yom Kippur, which is the day in which one's fate is set for the next year. So the time in between is supposed to be about repentance and making amends to those wronged in the past year. Repentance is hardly something I excel at, or could even claim to understand, so this would probably be a good discipline to undertake.

Unfortunately, what actually happened for me on Rosh Hashannah this year is that I spent most of the day feeling sick, and sleepy, and sorry for myself that I had such a crappy, boring job, irritated at the gray, rainy weather, and irritated at others for contributing to the fact that my job is crappy. What a way to start a new year!

But here is one of the things I love about these church calendars--these things operate so independently of me and what I'm feeling. I am glad that even in the midst of the thousand tiny deaths that constitute fall, we could be reminded of the birth of the whole world and the renewal of creation. And even when I'm feeling sick and crappy and stuck in the old ways of my tired old life, God could still be doing something new.

This is why I want to incorporate the Jewish calendar into my life--because it's another thing that has the potential of taking me out of myself, of guiding my reflections somewhere they wouldn't go of their own accord, and because, quite simply, I think they are beautiful, and I am always attracted to beauty.

So, L'Shana Tova, friends, here is to a sweet new year and here is to remembering to celebrate what we value!

S.