OMG

So, apparently my most recent attempt to eke out of few musical recommendations has been rather more on the unsuccessful side than not. Oh well. I'm sure you're just working out exactly which might be the perfect songs to recommend, and then I'll have a flood of helpful suggestions. No worries. Take your time.

While we're waiting for that, there is much to report! I'm in a little bit of a sticky wicket for the fall, at least the possibility of a sticky wicket. I'm doing four different types of dance. Yes, I said it, four. Mondays are tango, Tuesday are belly dancing, Wednesdays are Samba, and, oh yes, Monday and Wednesday I also take the Modern Dance class from hell.

But no, this implies that I don't enjoy the class. I definitely enjoy aspects of it. Let me try to begin at the beginning. I am taking a Beginning Modern Technique class at Buff State college, largely because one of the trifecta of dance types that I want to be good at is contemporary, and modern is the boat I am taking to reach that happy land. I am taking it at the college because I have a jolly old educational stipend from my year as an Americorps, and since I don't really have any notion where my life is headed and feel rather unenthused about any thought of grad school, this seemed as good a place as any to spend the dough. Wait, let me revise that, it sounds a little too aimless. I don't know where I'm headed, really, but dance seems to be a prevailing wind in my life right now, and so dance classes do make sense.

So that's how I got there. As to how it's going...well, the first day we showed up she gave an introductory speech that caused three people, at its conclusion to simply stand up and walk out, never to return. "Do not show up late for my class, if I have to come here on time so do you and there's no reason to be late for a class that starts at 10:00. If you are absent more than three times, you better just drop this class right now. I don't care if you have a court date, that's not excused it counts as one of your three, so use them wisely. If you have never done dance before, this is not the class for you, this is a class for experienced dancers so if you're not experienced you will not be able to keep up, you'll just slow everyone else down. So, if that's you, you better just drop the class right now." (Two things to keep in mind here: sure, I have been dancing forever but I am no modern dancer, and, this class is Beginning Modern Technique I, as in, there is no lower level of the class you can take. There is another section designed for non-experienced dancers, but still...) So the taskmistress of this happy little band does not mince words, she swears freely, she yells frequently and she has no qualms about coming around to adjust you into the right position. The class consists of a strenuous 45 minute stretching time, which is as much about working on the finer points of technique (posture, foot positionings, swings) as it is about warming up. Then about 30 minutes of across the floor work, in which we walk, jump, turn, skip, hop and all manner of combination of those things across the floor until no one can breathe. And then for about the last 15 minutes we learn some pieces of choreography, which we are expected to retain for the next class so that we can add some more.

It is grueling, there is no support from the top, I am being pushed to the absolute limits of my abilities and I can just barely keep my head above water. But, because of all of that, more than in spite of it, I am loving it. I am amazed to be in this class and to be able to do these things that she asks us to do, considering I've had next to no training. Every class I walk away in a stupor of exhaustion and dehydration, but I walk away with a sense of triumph as strong as if I'd just climbed Mt. Everest. I did it. I did everything she asked me. I did everything that the way more experienced dancers can do. I made it through.

Now, not to be too self-aggrandizing, I will let it be known that it's not like I'm doing everything great. When we go across the floor, the finer points of technique are mostly out the window, since we're just going too gosh darn fast to worry about positions, and oh, by the way, the entire time she's shouting at us, "Move! Pick your feet up! Close your mouth!" My leaps are not at all what I wish they were and let's not even talk about the turns. There are no shoes worn in modern dance and all I've ever done has been with shoes on. So my feet will continue to stick on the floor until I build up those calluses, which means I will continue to tear up, cut, and blister my feet until I build up those calluses, but there's no way around it. (Believe me, I've already checked with every dancer I know, there's no way around it.)In short, it's obvious that I've still got a long way to go.

So it's not exactly a walk in the park to say the least. For awhile, I was slightly panicked when I realized that as much as I enjoy taking this class, it isn't fun. I'm not happy and fulfilled when I'm out there with a stitch in my side skipping backwards across a room once every sixteen counts. Eeeek, oh no, now that I'm really doing it, I've discovered that I don't like dancing!!! After working through that episode, what I realized is that I don't like dance classes, which is great. Dance classes are there for building skills. Dance classes are not an art form. You don't build a career out of going to dance classes. So when all is said and done, I can move on from dance classes, back to what I love, which is my dancing. I'll just be able to do it way better (I hope).

So, that's pretty much the story on that. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be hearing much more about this class in the future. It's always such an emotional roller coaster for me, it took me days and days of processing just to get down to what I have written here. But it's a very exciting, challenging new chapter in this meandering journey of mine, and I'm so happy to be able to share it with you.

Oh, and those other classes? Well, they have all come to me for free in exchange for some of the work I am doing for one of my clients. And my great hope is that those won't try to kill me, but help remind me why I love dancing in the first place. Balance you know. It's all about the balance.